Okay, I know that I posted that thing like, “OHHH MYSTERIOUS, come back on the first of the year for my next blog and it will be a scandal and a half,” but then I’ve started watching this video from NYMAG over and over and I have to share it with you because my real life friends don’t get it and I know you will!!!! Or, if you don’t, at least you won’t be like, “Oh, I don’t like models besides the Victoria’s Secret Angels. Have U seen their Michael Bay commercial? It has a HELICOPTER,” because that’s what my real friends say and then I have to wish for a helicopter to crash into my house so I don’t have to live an additional moments with them in my life.

   I wasn’t going to post this, but I’m pretty sure that Lara Stone isn’t my cousin and she did not show up for Thanksgiving this year so I’m confident my love afffair can continue.

   I have a bunch of pictures of Lara smoking. I don’t know why I like when she smokes so much, because blahblahhh aging, bad for you, eat a dick, cry about it; but I really like when she smokes. It started with a Polaroid pic of her smoking:

(Link compliments of the completely fantastic Anthesis … if you don’t follow her your life sucks)

   And once I found all the Lara smoking pics, I moved onto Lara smoking videos. That’s when I found the NYMAG video. Now, when I can’t find anything to read and no one is on tumblr, I just watch the video. I’ve watched it a lot.

   Well, here is the video:

   LARAAAAAAA.

   Now you understand why I had to ruin all the hype of my next super secret New Years post about the leaked photo.

   Lara has to be one of the most quotable models working right now.

   Here is a transcript of the video.

   Guy taking the video: Mehhh my hands aren’t shaking, I’m gonna try to make this about me.

   LS: It’s because I quit drinking. (Hold on. Did this guy just discuss his own issues in front of me while I’m being all hot and smoking a cigarette? I hope he dies.) Wait, your hands or my hands?

   Guy: (Shit, what the fuck does she care about my hands? I fucking suck.) You quit drinking?

    LS: Mhhmm (Gonna start again because of you, ol’ shakyhands)

    Guy: I quit for a month.

    LS: (Who gives a shit?) I have six months.

I think I stole the orig from Jillian??? Either way, pic from LivingOffFashion   ?

INTERCUT

   Guy: …they actually look really soft.

   LS: *BEST WGAF BODY LANGUAGE EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* Can someone Gif this for me?

   Lara notices another model offscreen.

   LS: Why the fuck is she wearing those shoes for fun??

   Lara shows the Guy how tall the shoes were.

   A fat person walks down the stairs and Lara looks so frustrated with the mere fact that this woman can exist in the world. She closes her eyes and curls herself up in the most pure expression of disgust I have ever witnessed.

   Lara finishes her cig and thus completes the greatest video on youtube.

PS> 1.1.11