Today I decided to take a break from constantly thinking about Taylor Momsen and I thought about what Taylor Momsen thinks about. It’s part of my crusade to become a better person by considering others feelings.
I’ve found when I consider other’s feelings it is boring and I’ve decided that I just want people to do whatever I want them to do.
If people I don’t do what I decide they should be doing, I will write a blog post about it in on my incredibly popular blog. Since I do not have an incredibly popular blog, I’ve decided to post my rants on HBGWHEM.
The Gossip Girl hiatus just started (unless you are reading it at a time when that is untrue, then please just imagine I said DAPHNE GROENEVELD for this first sentence) and I realized it’s been over a year (again, there are time differences so keep GROENEVELDING for this part) since Taylor Momsen has been on the once great Gossip Girl. Isn’t that sort of weird? Isn’t that sort of weird that Blair was like “Oh, Jenny Humphrey, you slag, you are banished from Manhattan,” and since then everyone was just like, “OH OKAY! WELL, BLAIR MADE UP A FAKE BAN, BETTER FOLLOW IT. GUESS I CAN’T CELEBRATE MY DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY ANYMORE. BLAIR SAID SO AND WROTE AN IMAGINARY DOCTRINE IN INVISIBLE INK THAT IS LEGALLY BINDING.”
Eric is gone now too and they haven’t even mentioned that. Eric isn’t even fake banned from NYC. As the only gay character on the show (except for Vanessa that one time with Hil Duff) (WTF she’s gone too! GG Antigay Homophobe Scandal brewing… xoxo) it seems that they would want to explain Eric being gone. This way it doesn’t seem like the Roades-Humphrey-Bass-Vanderwoodsens sent Eric away for being gay. You’re telling me that the Gossip Girl writers can’t think of one thing that a gay man could have left NYC to do? The entire show is straight characters doing things in NYC that a gay man would do!
Do you remember when Jenny was on Gossip Girl and we had things like plotlines and an actual high schooler in actual school where Gossip Girl would actually have some sort of impact. Do you know how hard it is to watch receding hairline Chuck Bass strut out in a suit like, “Just got back from an important meeting and OH WAIT PHONE JUST WENT OFF IS IT A BUSINESS CALL ABOUT MY BUSINESS BECAUSE I’M A BUSINESS MAN.” Chuck looks at his phone and Kristen Bell is all like, “Looks like B was spotted having BikiniTini’s with Lonelyboy, but is her bikini getting too teeny?” AND THEN THE SERIOUS BUSINESSMAN THINKS ABOUT THIS LINE OF TWADDLE. Then someone Kristen Bell is probably saved as she jumps out of a window of a CW recording studio like that AZN bride lady who jumped out the window in her wedding dress. I think the point of this paragraph was that I’d like Taylor Momsen to return to Gossip Girl.
Taylor left to pursue her music, with her band of guys who I won’t say anything bad about because they just seem like a bunch of old perverts who are obsessed with Taylor Momsen and that’s not a crime. Right? RIGHT? GUYS. FUCK. IS THAT A CRIME? CAN GUY GO TO JAIL FOR THAT? NO/ NO/ NO/ MY LIFE IS OVER.
So yeah, I’m a huge TPR fan. Here are some posts I’ve made about Tay’s music: 1, 2, 3. My favorite Taymom song is Zombie. Oh speaking of Zombies remember when she posed in Revovler as a zombie hunter. If you don’t remember here is a picture to fap to fap to fap to fap to admire.
Taylor, here is another thing you want to do! I want you to go on GG and when Rufus is like, “Oh/// sorry… I replaced you with that random bitch Charlie Rose that no one likes but had to be a full time cast member because we killed Eric for being gay, where were you?”
And Taymom will be like, “I was killing zombies.”
Which Rufus will be like, “What about your fashion? You loved working in Eleanor’s atelier.”
And then Serena will bound into the room like “Guess what creepy professors cock I’m sucking now!” then Taymom will cut her head off.
Rufus will be mad but only because he’s a stay at home bitch now and he probably just cleaned up after early morning waffles and now Blake’s blood is staining a rug he spent all month looking a samples for. Lily will understand why her daughter’s head was cut off because she will be like, “Well she always did announciate like a zombie,” and everyone will be like, “loloolololololololool.” Then when the laughing stops Lily will be like, “Well at least I still have my other child, Charlie Rose.
Taymom has been pretty successful with her music. She even went on tour with Eveneance. I went to see them perform at the Prudential Center in Newark so that I could throw my size small boxer briefs on stage when Taymom performed and it was amazing! Those old pervs in the bad are really good at doing instruments or something probably I think they might have been there, IDK, I was focused on Taymom. After the Taymom concert I stayed for Evanesance which is a band created by a mildly overweight goth so that morbidly overweight goths would have a fashion icon besides Robert Smith. At the end of their show they gave me their setlist!!! (HBGWHEM EXCLUSIVE PICTURE)
Taylor Momsen has already achieved her dreams at eighteen. I think it’s truly remarkable, but now I think it’s time that Taylor Momsen achieves my dreams beceause I don’t want to be selfish or anything, I just have an extreme inability to care about the feelings, emotions or thoughts of others and that is probably a disability and the worst thing anyone can do is not grant the grandiose narcissistic wishes of the disabled so, starting now, Taylor Momsen you have to live in my crappy Newark apartment.
xoxo Tommy Boy.
